When the tide takes california

I have a confession. This blog has been existing for a few years now, yet, there is nothing written in here. I have been paying for a dormant blog for quite some time now. And I have to be honest, because that is the only promise I made myself when starting to write in here, I was well aware of this situation. Believe me, the tought of having a blog ment more to me than actually putting in the work. And that is just one of, well, many … problems.

But before I bore you (or myself for that matter) let’s discuss why I’m starting to write now. Honestly, I’m at the end of my rope and I know that I can’t continue like this. I’m keeping this blog as some kind of accountability (and because I’m apparently not able to confide in a normal person). I want to have something that resembles a journal but with accountability included. I mean, I still keep a journal. Introspection is key BUT, BUT there need sto be action accompanying it. I’m at an age now (right before turning 30) where I feel like I’m on the brink of understanding a lot of things – about relationships, myself, the world and living in general. I need to act on that otherwise I will be stuck and my life is too valuable to myself to simmer on standby all the time.

So, I seem to get more out of this blog than you my dear reader. I would agree with that. And I thank you if you ever show up here and actually read about my journey. I merely hope that even one person can take something away from my writing. Because I feel like there is no way out, but I know there always is. Putting it into perspective, my „problems“ are probably nothing compared to what humans on this earth suffer trough. I don’t suffer that way. To get it out once and for all: I don’t pretend that my problems are harder or more difficult to manage that those of any other person. I know I’m priviledged. But I know I have more potential to be happy in life and I want to use that. And by the way, you don’t have to read this blog. As I said, I’m wirting this more for myself and for my own journey.

So buckle in dear reader. It’s going to be a bumpy ride (and I might cry while writing a lot of these passages). I’m just so tired of continuing to live like this.